No, not Carl Rogers, the pioneer of Rogerian, self-actualization psychology, but Fred Rogers—that’s Mister Rogers, to you and me. Carl Rogers founded a school of psychology based on the idea that every human being is driven to become their best self (Yes, that was Carl Rogers, not Joel Osteen), while Fred Rogers pioneered television programming aimed at the psychology of the most vulnerable, most important, people in the world: small children. 

One thing both Rogers had in common was the idea of Unconditional Positive Regard. Carl introduced the term and laid it down as the cornerstone of the therapist’s role. Fred put it into constant, unswerving practice, and so should we. 

Two movies that belong on your “definitely must-see” are “Won't You Be My Neighbor? (2018)” which is a documentary on the life and work of Fred Rogers, and “A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood,” currently in theaters with Tom Hanks in the lead role. Both movies qualify as modern hagiographies (stories saints). Both movies will bring tears to your eyes and that happy awareness that comes from knowing that goodness always wins out with patience and persistence. 

(continued from page 1)

“I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

— John 13: 34-35:  

Our witness in the world is missed or rejected because it is seen only as moral judgment. People flee Christians because they feel they have to clean up their act in our presence, and doing so is loathsome to them. Christians are seen as killjoys and blue-noses.  They see us as moral hall-monitors, ever vigilant to catch them doing something sinful. Our very presence seems to mean they have to be acting within a code of behavior that they don’t like. Rather than endure all that, they just want us away from their orbit. 

So how did they get that idea? Do we really come off as the constant, moral tattletales of the world? To be sure, plenty of Christians delight in playing moral vigilantes, and yes, they can be difficult to be around. Is there a better way to be—a better way to shape our witness to a world of sinners who desperately don’t want to be called out for their sins? Absolutely. The love thing has to come first. 

We know love by this, that he laid down his life for us—and we ought to lay down our lives for one another.  

— 1 John 3:16:   

Love that is less than unconditional is less than the love God shows us through Christ. Jesus is the Word of Love to humankind—the message that God’s love is greater than our sin. As such, we Christian must take the greatest care to show love meaningfully before we try to play moral police. 

Imagine this: a group of rebellious and sullen teens sit on their cars in the parking lot of the football stadium. They’re smoking, drinking, cussing—being rebel teens. Along comes an adult to chastise them for their inappropriate behavior: 

“You kids! Don’t move around at the scrimmage line, we’ll get called for offsides!  And when the quarterback throws the ball to you, don’t slow down but keep running your pattern!” 

The kids look at the adult incredulously. “What in the world is he talking about?” they say. 

The so-called help the adult offers is pointless and useless to the teens because they are not in the game. They are not even in the stadium. The help is useless.

Before you give instructions about the game, you must make sure others are in the stadium, on the team, and in the game. Otherwise, it all sounds like a bunch of pointless blather. This is why all evangelism begins—and perhaps ends—in love, love, love. 

And that is unconditional love. Love that says, “We will love you if…” is nothing but a sales pitch or an invitation to social conformity. Neither are very appealing. 

The kind of love we must practice is more like laying down our lives, which is exactly what Christ models for us. That includes laying down our need to be right or righteous.  means laying down our need to correct others for their sinfulness. 

In Jesus’ name I tell you let it go. We can trust in the Holy Spirit to make those connections once they are inside the stadium. 

Love brings us out of the parking lot into the stadium. It puts us on the team and into the game. The rules, the morals, and the game’s instructions mean nothing until the outsider is made an insider who truly feels that he or she belongs. 

Mister Fred Rogers (a Presbyterian Minister, by the way) modeled that love with patience, persistence, and a laser-sharp focus that transformed nearly every environment he encountered. He was an effective and winsome witness for Jesus Christ and the Kingdom of God. I consider him a true hero and I implore you to join me in putting that same practice of unconditional love ahead of every other aspect of our witness. In time, with God’s help, our witness will be heard and eagerly received. †