IN SEARCH OF CHASTITY

In Breakfast of Champions, the novel by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., one character describes a woman as: “a sensational invitation to reproduce.” That’s about where it starts, biologically. Life would be much simpler if it were all merely biological, but no, to be human means that we are a mad tangle of appetites, impulses, and drives that we neither understand nor fully control.

If aliens judged our planet based upon one or two hours of cable television, imagine their conclusions. Between Housewives of Long Island, The Bachelor, and RuPaul’s DragU alone, they would say humanity is over-sexed, oddly-sexed, and sexually self-absorbed. Enter the eternal virtue of Chastity.

CHASTITY: MORE THAN THE NOTS

   As Peace means infinitely more than just the absence of war, so Chastity means more than mere abstention from sex. Chastity is essentially about right relationships—that is, right relationships between sexes, between spouses, between ourselves and others’ spouses, and ultimately, between us and God. The chaste person is finally one with a pure heart, or as Jesus says in the Sermon on the Mount, the ones who shall see God. The one who is chaste is one who knows how to love.

1. RIGHT RELATIONSHIPS

   Respect, honor, support, care, compassion—the path toward Chastity includes all of these things. Most of them are things we expect to get from others, but the discipline of Chastity comes as we commit ourselves to give them.

2. God made sex good.

   From the way some Christians have talked, you’d think the Devil invented sex. No, it’s a gift from God and we should honor and respect it enough not to be suspicious of its virtue. The problem with humanity is that we can take any good thing made by God and find a way to twist it so that it becomes. . .um, twisted. We take the good thing and find ways to make it wrong. That is the devilish side, and worth our working away from. The Bible calls it lust.

   Lust is arousal that has undergone some kind of twist. Arousal is good—a gift from God—a blessing to be celebrated. Lust is arousal that has been taken over by greed, gluttony, pride, etc.—all with the intention to take, use, consume, and gratify without regard to the other’s dignity, value, or humanity.

3. Context is everything.

   Q: If sex is good, then why is there so much perversion in the world?

   A: Because people are basically sinful.

We find ways to take anything that is good and pure and twist it out of all recognition. Scripture establishes marriage as the appropriate context for sexual purity—this means Chastity thrives in the context of marriage and may be seriously threatened by the other contexts of our own contrivance. Chastity also thrives in the single person’s life through platonic love and otherwise right relationships.

4. Playing with fire.

   It may not be completely fair to refer to the the sex drive as an appetite. That may be like calling a hurricane a spring shower. Anyone who has ever seen an Italian opera, listened to blues from the Delta, or watched an episode of Jerry Springer knows that sex is totally fire. Passion, aggression, jealosies, deception, and murder are common drama in the theater of Eros. Let’s not pretend that the forces of sexuality may be dealt with adequately in the chipper language of a country club brochure. Chastity is an honest perspective.

5 TOWARD TRUE INTIMACY.

Beyond sexuality, Chastity is a pure-heartedness for all of our relationships. All the different kinds of love we have for different people in our lives can use improvement and growth. Excellence in love, be that love romantic love with your spouse, friendship with your friends, brotherhood/sisterhood within your family, or simple affection toward all God’s creatures—all are part of the journey toward Chastity.

LOVE AS GOD INTENDED

None of us can be too loving. We will not in this life complete or attain perfect, total love. Our relationships are all stages upon which we act to shape our character. With God’s help, we become more loving, more tender-hearted, more pure of heart, and more complete as lovers of God and one another. None of us can be too loving. We will not in this life complete or attain perfect, total love. Our relationships are all stages upon which we act to shape our character. With God’s help, we become more loving, more tender-hearted, more pure of heart, and more complete as lovers of God and one another.