AnderspeaK
RELATIONSHIPS MATTER
Authentic love goes to considerable distances to prove itself.
Early in our marriage, when we were at odds, I found myself resorting to reason and close connection to the facts in trying to resolve whatever conflict we were in. I sought to justify myself and my position so that we might arrive at the same truth and move on. This rarely—in fact, never—works. When my beloved is upset, the reasons hardly matter, and if I fall back on facts and specifics, coldly calculating our mini-history in my head, I only exacerbate the distance and divide. It is pointless to be right and/or factual when a relationship is on the line. We see that in large measure in the current crisis as well. The racial tensions only seem to increase when we cite specific numbers, facts, or history—in short, we don’t speak the same language in these matters.
When we try—when we fall back on a coldly calculating analysis of history and/or race relations, we exacerbate the distance and divide.
It is frustrating to feel great pressure not to think for oneself—to be roundly expected to take on the narrative of other’s perceptions of the crisis—and frustrating to hear either that the facts don’t matter or to accept the narrative once subjected to enormous, emotional distortions.
American racism persists despite decades of legislation and attempts to undermine it. This is a frustration for all of us, but especially to those who live under its negative power and consequences. The overwhelming majority of Americans would affirm that they—that we--hate racism. It is the chief embarrassment of American history.
Even so, finding redemption—naming and creating satisfactory outcomes—remains elusive. The “white guilt” crowd bends over backward to absolve themselves of their collective guilt, doing anything they can imagine to avoid the epithet of “racist.” Others deny their complicity in the crisis, which can be worse.
So guilt is the new pandemic, but what is redemption? What does healing look like? Whom can we trust with the business of sorting things out? Government? Legislations? Reparations? Who has the plan? Who can carry it out? Most importantly, will it end racial discrimination?
We should not trust the government to sort anything out. Look how well that is working at present. Neither should we trust spokespersons for activist movements to dictate either the terms of satisfaction or absolution for what is a long-standing historical evil. This seems to put us at a standstill—a perpetual stalemate with no resolution other than perpetual frustration. Where then is our hope?
Healing comes through healed relationships. Again, as in our marriages, it is pointless to be “right”, factual, or justified in our opinions—these simply feed the distance and division. As in those times when I disagree with my beloved Tara, what matters is that she feels heard, supported, and loved. Whether I think she’s right or wrong in the particulars, love makes her right by me, because the relationship is more important to me than anything else. Perhaps our current situation finds its way forward in a similar manner.
Because we truly love our fellow Americans, we can let them be right about the narrative whether we agree with it or not. We can let them be right about this if only because it serves the good of our troubled, national relationship.
We have in this hour an opportunity to love as Jesus loves. Forget the dispute of what is fit and not. This isn’t about the law; it is about love. We must love our fellow Americans who feel belittled, unvoiced, and forgotten. And we—we Christians—show ourselves willing to go to considerable distances to prove that love.
I’m sure our Lord and Master Jesus would have us to do no less. .†
A TIME TO LISTEN. . . AND NOT TO LISTEN
The killing of George Floyd is a wrongful death that has come to represent many years’ worth of other wrongful deaths. The outcry is just and legitimate, and we all should share in the longing for justice to be done. Some people have been shouting out the truth of such injustice for years, but feel their shouting reaches nothing but deaf ears. Is every one asleep? Perhaps we need to shake them awake.
At their best, protests manage to give a voice to the voiceless—a grassroots platform through which they may be heard above the numbing thrum of business-as-usual media interests. At their worst, they can encourage pure evil manifest in psychopathic mob behavior.
The present protests and riots have completely secured public attention—even world attention—so the ears and eyes of the world are focused on any who previously had no voice. The previously voiceless now stand front and center on the world stage: what do they have to say? What is the message we’re supposed to hear? Is there a central spokesperson who can cite specific demands for the public to satisfy? In any event, we are listening and listening hard. Unfortunately, good protesters can be quickly eclipsed by the bad. We are certainly seeing a mixed bag of characters. We see peaceful demonstrations— acts of solidarity against the perpetuation of racial discrimination—and these protests appear to be racially inclusive. These protests express a positive, grassroots support for the ongoing frustrations in the American march to overcome racism. Bravo to these.
We also see others in their glorious moment of attention stinking up the place horribly. Vandals, rioters, arsonists, the rude, the crude, and even the murderous—all returning evil for evil, with no message to be given, just wallowing in the chaos of the moment.
It’s fine to say we “understand” the behavior, but wicked to thereby justify it. Evil is evil and needs to be called out as such. There can be no “immunity” for willful destructiveness. Greed and selfishness are every bit as obvious in them as it is in those representing “the system” they decry. Standing center stage with a mic in hand they have no message. They are seizing the moment to take whatever they can take, satisfying their bloodlust at the public expense. The far-left Antifa activists—who are, make no mistake, the ideological mirror image of militant white supremacists on the far right—constitute an indelible stain on the love feasts of the legitimate protesters. You’ve probably seen videos of BLM members imploring Antifas to stop vandalizing. They deserve our sympathies.
Yet there is a great distance between drastic actions taken to gain a hearing and revolutionary violence. The former seeks a fair place with a full voice at the larger table. Inclusion means participation at the table as equals and friends. We all should desire this with equal longing. But revolutionaries reject the table and the room itself. They don’t want a voice, they want their voice to be the only voice. They desire that every act of violence be amplified and extended. They want destruction—to blow the room to smithereens so they may take the room over to themselves and set up an exclusive table where only they can eat. The difference is night and day; right and wrong. The revolutionaries are toxic. They are evil.
Their pleasure is chaos and destruction, and it is these to whom we should stop listening altogether. Their rebuke of America has gone overboard, past extremes, and it is time to declare their moment over. If they want to continue performing, they’re going to have to clean up their act. But like the saddest of wannabe contestants on America’s Got Talent, they’re not likely to leave the stage once gonged. Where’s Simon Cowell when you need him? Sound the buzzer, bang the gong, call the third strike—let’s get someone else on the stage and give others a chance.
The truly sad thing is that there are millions of good people depending on this moment to make a difference to advance peace and justice. Will that occur? We must pray that it does, but our hope for an advance is rightly invested only as we trust in God. Trusting protests, political parties, or politicians to make lasting changes is a risky—no, foolish—investment. Though Man may excel at superficial changes, only God can transform hearts. Deep change requires the power and presence of the Holy Spirit—something no worldly, social engineer, or political architect can construct—and we are right to pray for such change without ceasing.
To those activists who say, “Prayer is not enough,” let us say shame on you for thinking your activism is superior to the workings of God. As for those who protest peacefully, let us all give them the hearing and attention they deserve. We want them at the American table as equals. But what shall we say of the violent, the wicked, and the evil-doers? Put it this way: every wise parent knows that a petulant child will stop throwing a tantrum soon after he has no audience. We must remember that there is a time to stop listening to the wicked—a point which we can say they have squandered their opportunity and fumbled their moment. That time is now, and the prohibition should include those who foolishly indulged them and sought to justify sinful behavior. If any of these would like to be heard after trashing their communities, the only voices our ears should be open to are the ones making moves toward genuine repentance. †
Do not repay anyone evil for evil, but take thought for what is noble in the sight of all. If it is possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.
—Romans 12: 17-18
Right by Me
Love goes to considerable distances to prove itself.
Early in our marriage (Tara and I married later in life, so it’s not all that long ago), when we were at odds, I found myself resorting to reason and close connection to the facts in trying to resolve whatever conflict we were in. I sought to justify myself and my position so that we might arrive at the same truth and move on. This rarely—in fact, never—works. When my beloved is upset, the reasons hardly matter, and if I fall back on facts and specifics, coldly calculating our mini-history in my head, I only exacerbate the distance and divide. It is pointless to be right and/or factual where some relationships are concerned.
We see that in large measure in the current crisis as well. The racial tensions only seem to increase when we cite specific numbers, facts, or history—in short, we don’t speak the same language in these matters. When we try—when we fall back on a coldly calculating analysis of history and/or race relations, we exacerbate the distance and divide.
It is frustrating to feel great pressure not to think for oneself—to be roundly expected to take on the narrative of other’s perceptions of the crisis—and frustrating to hear either that the facts don’t matter or to accept the narrative once subjected to enormous, emotional distortions.
American racism persists despite decades of legislation and attempts to undermine it. This is a frustration for all of us, but especially to those who live under its negative power and consequences. The overwhelming majority of Americans would affirm that they—that we--hate racism. It is the chief embarrassment of American history.
Even so, finding redemption—naming and creating satisfactory outcomes—remains elusive. The “white guilt” crowd bends over backward to absolve themselves of their collective guilt, doing anything they can imagine to avoid the epithet of “racist.” Others deny their complicity in the crisis, which is worse.
So guilt is the new pandemic, but what is redemption? What does healing look like? Whom can we trust with the business of sorting things out? Government? Legislations? Reparations? Who has the plan? Who can carry it out? Most importantly, will it end racial discrimination?
We should not trust the government to sort anything out. Look how well that is working at present. Neither should we trust spokespersons for activist movements to dictate either the terms of satisfaction or absolution for what is a long-standing historical evil. This seems to put us at a standstill—a perpetual stalemate with no resolution other than perpetual frustration. Where then is our hope?
Healing comes through healed relationships. Again, as in our marriages, it is pointless to be “right”, factual, or justified in our opinions—these simply feed the distance and division. As in those times when I disagree with my beloved Tara, what matters is that she feels heard, supported, and loved. Whether I think she’s right or wrong in the particulars, love makes her right by me, because the relationship is more important to me than anything else. Perhaps our current situation finds its way forward in a similar manner.
Because we truly love our fellow Americans, we can let them be right about the narrative whether we agree with it or not. We can let them be right about this if only because it serves the good of our troubled, national relationship.
We have in this hour an opportunity to love as Jesus loves. Forget the dispute of what is fit and not. This isn’t about the law; it is about love. We must love our fellow Americans who feel belittled, unvoiced, and forgotten. And we—we Christians—show ourselves willing to go to considerable distances to prove that love.
Our Lord and Master Jesus would have us to do no less.
A Time to (not) Listen
The killing of George Floyd is a wrongful death that has come to represent many years’ worth of other wrongful deaths. The outcry is just and legitimate, and we all should share in the longing for justice to be done. Some people have been shouting out the truth of such injustice for years, but feel their shouting reaches nothing but deaf ears. Is every one asleep? Perhaps we need to shake them awake.
At their best, protests manage to give a voice to the voiceless—a grassroots platform through which they may be heard above the numbing thrum of business-as-usual media interests. At their worst, they can encourage pure evil manifest in psychopathic mob behavior.
The present protests and riots have completely secured public attention—even world attention—so the ears and eyes of the world are focused on any who previously had no voice. The previously voiceless now stand front and center on the world stage: what do they have to say? What is the message we’re supposed to hear? Is there a central spokesperson who can cite specific demands for the public to satisfy? In any event, we are listening and listening hard.
Unfortunately, good protesters can be quickly eclipsed by the bad. We are certainly seeing a mixed bag of characters. We see peaceful demonstrations—acts of solidarity against the perpetuation of racial discrimination—and these protests appear to be racially inclusive. These protests express a positive, grassroots support for the ongoing frustrations in the American march to overcome racism. Bravo to these.
We also see others in their glorious moment of attention stinking up the place horribly. Vandals, rioters, arsonists, the rude, the crude, and even the murderous—all returning evil for evil, with no message to be given, just wallowing in the chaos of the moment.
It’s fine to say we “understand” the behavior, but wicked to thereby justify it. Evil is evil and needs to be called out as such. There can be no “immunity” for willful destructiveness. Greed and selfishness are every bit as obvious in them as it is in those representing “the system” they decry. Standing center stage with a mic in hand they have no message. They are seizing the moment to take whatever they can take, satisfying their bloodlust at the public expense. The far-left Antifa activists—who are, make no mistake, the ideological mirror image of militant white supremacists on the far right—constitute an indelible stain on the love feasts of the legitimate protesters. You’ve probably seen videos of BLM members imploring Antifas to stop vandalizing. They deserve our sympathies.
Yet there is a great distance between drastic actions taken to gain a hearing and revolutionary violence. The former seeks a fair place with a full voice at the larger table. Inclusion means participation at the table as equals and friends. We all should desire this with equal longing. But revolutionaries reject the table and the room itself. They don’t want a voice, they want their voice to be the only voice. They desire that every act of violence be amplified and extended. They want destruction—to blow the room to smithereens so they may take the room over to themselves and set up an exclusive table where only they can eat. The difference is night and day; right and wrong. The revolutionaries are toxic. They are evil.
Their pleasure is chaos and destruction, and it is these to whom we should stop listening altogether. Their rebuke of America has gone overboard, past extremes, and it is time to declare their moment over. If they want to continue performing, they’re going to have to clean up their act. But like the saddest of wannabe contestants on America’s Got Talent, they’re not likely to leave the stage once gonged. Where’s Simon Cowell when you need him? Sound the buzzer, bang the gong, call the third strike—let’s get someone else on the stage and give others a chance.
The truly sad thing is that there are millions of good people depending on this moment to make a difference to advance peace and justice. Will that occur? We must pray that it does, but our hope for an advance is rightly invested only as we trust in God. Trusting protests, political parties, or politicians to make lasting changes is a risky—no, foolish—investment. Though Man may excel at superficial changes, only God can transform hearts. Deep change requires the power and presence of the Holy Spirit—something no worldly, social engineer, or political architect can construct—and we are right to pray for such change without ceasing.
To those activists who say, “Prayer is not enough,” let us say shame on you for thinking your activism is superior to the workings of God. As for those who protest peacefully, let us all give them the hearing and attention they deserve. We want them at the American table as equals. But what shall we say of the violent, the wicked, and the evil-doers? Put it this way: every wise parent knows that a petulant child will stop throwing a tantrum soon after he has no audience. We must remember that there is a time to stop listening to the wicked—a point which we can say they have squandered their opportunity and fumbled their moment. That time is now, and the prohibition should include those who foolishly indulged them and sought to justify sinful behavior. If any of these would like to be heard after trashing their communities, the only voices our ears should be open to are the ones making moves toward genuine repentance.