San Joaquin (2007)


All poems copyrighted © Noel K. Anderson


Organism in Weird Relationship to Its Environment

Too much modern information bombards potential enlightenment.

What ought to be simply lived compulsively seeks explanations,

and though those explanations are not to be 

too seriously believed,

they hold the place of real belief 

as real belief is no longer believed.


Intricacy and subtlety are ignored 

by those who take pleasure in both.

    What is becoming is no longer becoming.


All our lives see the triumph of entropy—

the vilification of virtue and the championing of perversion.

Advocacy Pharisees flaunting golden chariots

    Lord, let there be a sea too for these Phariots.


More is known about this season’s kings

than seasoned kings or reasoned things.

Time may be out: this may be the end of things.


Girl on a Swing

This old park playground

built in the 50s for the children

makes the news yet again

as a habitat for perverts.

A sturdy swingset overshadows

the giant slide and furious, steel, merry-go-round (both since removed for the children’s safety).

Seven-year-old Mary was taken here.

Her house faces the park; she merely

crossed the street to play on the swing.

The joy of the motion, the to-and-fro

like a simple song, the wind on her 

innocent cheeks—all beneath a blue sky

and the rhythmic groan of old chains—

she could only see no evil. 

Lean back and kick, kneel forward and bow,

lean back again, rush forward and meet the sky,

fall back where you can’t see,

change positions and kick again.

From the park’s public toilets

came the shadowy footsteps

across the green grass.


Here, all Eden turns to thorns.


The pulsing heart of a community’s dream

vanished in one ravenous gulp

with nothing to show or hear but

the old seat waggling to a halt.



In Heaven

In Heaven all the flies are friendly

and all their manners mind

They never pester gatherings

of the souls of humankind.


In Heaven flies are intelligent

and obey you when you speak.

Should you ask them please buzz off awhile

they will away until next week.


The bees up there are friendly, too.

No longer having stings

They spend their days in playing hymns

hummed from their little wings.


And yes, they still make honey

in hives high as a hill

and the heavenly bears who amble in

may happily eat their fill.


At a Table

The blue dining chairs (vinyl over chrome)

catch the fattened rears of the overfed.

Though the chairs are easy to clean,

the messy eaters carry their stains

away from the table:


A spot of grape juice on a white blouse,

sweaty hands wiped dry on blue jeans,

bread crumbs hanging on a fuzzy sweater—


Christ is carried onto the patio,

beaming over styrofoam cups 

of the poorest coffee.


From there He climbs into sun-baked cars 

heading to the pancake houses and life 

in a billion homes 

and half as many hearts.


Boredom

The church leaders

buying lights for the sanctuary

sought to avoid trendy forms

like so many other churches

with ugly lights—

    spindly, brass chandeliers

    with faux-flame bulbs,

    mid-century saucers—

once standing for the sleeker future

now reflect in dimness

the clichéd optimism of former generations.

“Timeless” was the look they wanted,

timeless like the Church herself

but those who can’t afford what is truly timeless

tend to settle for the mediocre

and light the sanctuary in utter boredom.


Valley Fever


I am driving home to lay down my head in sickness.

Streets shine wet with rain, and darker with rain.

I don’t even know if my lights are on;

I can’t see lines right in front of me.

Light fails to return in straight lines

and I am nagged to annoyance

by the narcissistic prince—

never finishing his examinations, 

never secure in diagnosis—

he paces his territory

in endless analysis.

Through brow-sweat and swollen glands

I make my appeal to the King,

begging for mercy at every hearing. 



Feretevneh

They call it the new asceticism–

monastic purity sans sacrifice or piety.

Resplendent simplicity is a hit,

as is all bulimic reductionism. 


The grinning, aging model, 

floating along on gorgeous emaciation,

vomits out the crucifix she swallowed

with a shrug of insecure indifference.

Through the language of mad convolution 

she reveals (for those that will see) 

a tongue that serves 

collectively nothing.


If these words mean whatever we say

then this is the Bible, and we have become

our own narcissistic supply.



Dream Poem


Billy Kidd

Clips his nails

in the pool

and he says: 


“SEE-EEEEE-EEEEEE


          HOW 


      EMOTIONALLY DISTURBED 

                    

 

                                      I AM!”




Old Plow

Bereaved but ensconced 

in endless dreams of diurnal persistence,

I set my hand to the worn wood

of an ancient plow,

Spur the emaciated mule 

to its unimpressive plod, 

and cut the filthy rind 

of cold hard mother earth.

I would hold the line, 

but like Lot’s wife ask “What is life?”

and strain to go astray–

to listen for the echoing footfalls

from the forbidden garden,

to look back into the face of God’s fury,

and veer from this appointed line

I pursue with disastrous potential. 

    Servants come, servants go,

    Serving the masters they less-than-half-know.

The stewards of secrets reveal their disease,

roundly denouncing the flesh as they please.

Hard handles under blisters slip,

blood and muscles fail,

all endeavor is by browsweat blinded;

weakened knees, swollen and scab-scarred,

find rest only in falling to the fresh-turned dirt.

    “Kyrie Eleison!” 

Oh, Lamb of God. . . .




His Evidence


To the remembrance of significant waves

we drink another’s glory.

The reverberations of light and sound–

the motions of living flesh passing through

smoky night air in Jerusalem,

still sounding in time’s horizons:


God was with us, and the evidence lingers

not in dreams or stories, but in space-time—

all the proof that He lived, walked,

spoke, healed, and resurrected from the humiliation

of death remains, 

spreading out in light 

two-thousand light years away.

If it can be accessed by any means other than faith,

we don’t know.

For now faith will have to do.



River Walk

I walk the dog along this river

and these moments come around

smelling of sweet autumns past—

smoky melancholy and the compelling charm of nostalgia,

like the remembrance of a feast

not-yet-eaten though the table is set for company.

I would sit and breathe

to make myself ready, but the dog is restless

and will not let me be still. 

But these moments go—

    as they come they must also go—

the river’s steady flow waits for no one. 

My feet are washed and pebbles bruise my heels.

Not this walk, or any other, but something

like the sum total of all walks,

with all their echoing ecstasies and dreary disappointments—

the hours of toilsome marching

in service to the whims of a dog—

all these repeated steps lifted in a compulsory dance

like an adolescent cotillion,

trod through clumsy embarrassments

and panicked desire.

It is cumulative and all-inclusive

like the slow pounding of a nine-inch nail

as the clock counts the score,

a Canon in B-flat.

    Sursum corda

    kyrie eleison

Bread on the water floats with the flow,

with thanks we receive a name 

we may know.


LS

This shimmering, sacred remembrance

made of more than mere memory

reflects a light from beyond

this present darkness.

A golden glimmer in the otherwise void

fractures then splays out in fragmented flecks,

all dividing in the growing glow.

The light is a presence, like heat,

the bright prize of broken hearts,

a certain hope of fresher starts

past fatal pressure and blasphemous lies.

We consume the fiery quanta,

each cell aquiver,

and find our flesh altogether contained in

this moment of suspense

above the river.


Hart Park

Heaven must be like this

like this river

like these trees

like the tall grass near the waters,

dark and rippled by the breeze.


Heaven must be like this

like the sunlight through the trees

that sharpens their autumn colors

burning brightly on the leaves.


And Heaven must have pathways

like these all green and lush

where heavenly dogs chase heavenly squirrels

through thornless underbrush,


Where birds a-chatter on cozy boughs

stretched in the morning light

sing songs of glory and innocence

once all is put to right.



Walking (reprise)


How utterly odd, this pathetic faithfulness–

this toddling toward God,

each step ambling idly,

every stride straying widely.

An awkward, gawky dance we trip, 

over brittled bones and chalk dust well-trod.

With each fall we curse the sky

in fits of spit and hisses.

Our stand is shakily taken,

furrowed-brow-fouled.

Into this walk we lean hard, as into a mighty wind,

accompanied by angels whose wings 

cover their sacred mouths

to stifle their most knowing laughter. 


                                              © Noel 2021